Dating in the UK: finding love as an expat

New to dating in the UK? You might wonder if the spark got lost somewhere between polite small talk and dry humo(u)r. Indeed, romance in the country isn’t loud; it’s more “I made you tea” than “I love you.”

Still, once you crack the code, it’s full of charm. One minute you’re bonding over a pint, the next you’re planning weekend walks and pretending you don’t mind the rain.

So, how do you meet people and make a good impression? And what are the rules when it comes to punctuality and paying for the date? Here’s what you need to know:

Is it easy to date in the UK?

Almost one-third of the UK’s population (29.6%) lives alone (Office for National Statistics, 2023). Within the four countries, the share of single households is:

• England: 30.1%
• Scotland: 37.1%
• Wales: 31.9%
• Northern Ireland: 15.0%

Of course, it would be wrong to assume every one of those is also single (i.e., without a partner). Similarly, single people living with flatmates are also not accounted for. But with those statistics being the only ones available, it’s hard to say how many people in the UK are actually looking to date.

It is true, though, that dating in the UK can be pretty difficult.

According to one study, many singles remain, well, single because of declining social skills, increasing depression and anxiety, and the growing dependence on technology. Building a relationship takes a lot of effort and mental energy, something that the young generation in particular seems to lack.

Others believe it’s a symptom of the modern culture shift. For example, women are more independent than ever, finding they don’t need a partner to afford a stable lifestyle. At the same time, both men and women have demanding careers and are becoming more individualistic. Indeed, Vogue has raised complaints about the high number of emotionally unavailable singles on the London dating scene.

Of course, some people just aren’t looking for commitment and are experiencing ‘dating fatigue’. They are tired of months and years of dating without any luck, and choose to stay single for a bit.

How do you meet single people online in the UK?

The best dating websites in the UK

Unsurprisingly, in the modern era, one of the easiest ways to enter the UK dating scene is by going online.

To meet other single, like-minded internationals, try our own online dating service: Expatica Dating UK. Popular with both men and women, it helps to connect people who share similar interests and passions and ultimately find love in Great Britain.

Other popular dating sites in the UK are eHarmoney, EliteSingles, Our Time, and Plenty of Fish, which are (maybe) free but may require payment in order to access special features.

The best dating apps in the UK

International dating apps such as Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge are commonly used in the UK. Kippo is also popular – this is a dating app for gamers that allows you to match with other people based on your favorite games.

Facebook Dating can offer a good alternative; this function within the social media platform makes it easier to meet and start new conversations with people who share your interests. Meanwhile, the social eating app Timeleft allows British singles to meet and share dinner with four strangers. Although it’s primarily focused on creating friendships, you might meet someone who’s open to something more.

Singles looking for same-sex relationships may want to check out the dating apps Her, MagicMirror, Taimi, and Zoe.

As might be expected, users of dating apps tend to stumble upon the same issues in the UK as they would in other countries. For example, the apps are primarily focused on hooking up and are based on making rapid decisions. So, if you are looking for a genuine connection, you may be better off signing up for a website or meeting someone in person.

How do you meet singles in person in the UK?

If online dating is not for you, then in-person meetups can be a good alternative. You can start by going to social events organized by Meetup groups. There are numerous events throughout the UK that allow you to meet like-minded people in a fun and safe way. Even if you don’t find the love of your life, you might make some new friends.

Another great way to meet potential partners is by joining a local club or sports association. From art classes to football teams, these offer a great way for you to meet new people and bond over shared passions and interests.

Meeting through friends

Of course, you can also reach out to your social and professional network to find a date. If you have friends or close work colleagues you trust, see if they know of any suitable singles they could set you up with. Otherwise, keep an eye out for social gatherings and do some searching yourself.

If you’re feeling confident, the UK has plenty of opportunities to acquaint yourself with strangers, for example, in bars, nightclubs, or at a local event or festival. You just have to be a little outgoing.

While this method requires more effort, it can be rewarding to find attractive singles without the worry that their online personality might not match their real-life one.

Local speed dating events

Another interesting way of meeting potential dating partners in the UK is through speed dating events. This is where singles meet at a venue and are matched for a series of quick-fire conversations with others to see if compatibility or a spark exists.

You can find events near you on websites such as Original Dating, which advertises events in all the major cities in mainland UK. Social networking sites like Instagram and Reddit may also have details of upcoming mixers or speed-dating events.

What is the dating etiquette in the UK?

Although dating styles can vary across the UK’s four countries (i.e., England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland), there are a few common threads. Generally speaking, people in the UK can be polite and emotionally reserved at first. Direct flirtation isn’t always the norm, and relationships often start off casually before becoming more serious over time.

Here are some of the more common scenarios you may find yourself in while dating in the UK.

A typical dating scenario

First dates usually involve going for drinks at a pub, grabbing coffee or tea at a café, or going for a walk in the park. It’s also common for people to invite their date for an evening out with friends to get to know them in a more comfortable setting. As time goes on, dates will likely center around your shared hobbies and interests (e.g., attending a comedy show, visiting a museum, or watching a football match).

Dates are typically relaxed with lots of good-natured banter (people often downplay romance with humour or self-deprecation). However, they can be more direct than in other countries; UK dating culture appreciates clear-cut honesty when it comes to feelings and expectations. Again, regional differences exist; for example, the Scottish can be more straightforward than people in Northern Ireland.

PDA (public displays of affection) is generally accepted, but within limits. Holding hands, a quick kiss, or a cuddle is considered normal and won’t cause a stir. Anything more intense or passionate is a big no-no and will make people uncomfortable (and utter some cheeky comments).

Dating behavior in the UK

While UK culture and social norms are distinct in many ways, first-date etiquette is fairly typical. People are generally warm and flirty, meaning that the dating atmosphere will be casual and fun.

When it comes to punctuality, the British and Scottish think it inconsiderate or downright rude to keep people waiting, and you’ll want to arrive on the dot. The Welsh and Northern Irish are a little more relaxed with their time, which means you typically have to wait around 5–15 minutes for them to turn up.

The dress code is smart casual, something that is comfortable yet polished. You won’t impress any date by showing up to a date wearing torn jeans or loungewear. Of course, it all depends on the date; a fancy dinner date requires a different outfit than a picnic at the park.

In terms of conversation, taboo topics include money, religion, and deeply personal matters. Bragging or being overtly critical won’t go down too well, either, and you’re unlikely to get a second date.

It’s worth noting that the UK is pretty monogamous, and dating multiple people at the same time is uncommon. Most people will assume exclusivity unless explicitly stated otherwise.

Gender roles in the UK

When it comes to gender roles, people value traditional romance, but with a balance. Men and women are considered equal, and either gender can ask the other out.

However, the man typically pays for the first date. Asking to split the bill is not common; if you do, some may even think you’re unchivalrous or uninterested. That said, both partners contribute equally to the relationship. So, when you pay for the first date, your date will usually pay the next time.

Likewise, chivalry is appreciated in moderation. Men are expected to hold open doors, help their date with their coats, and show politeness. However, too grand romantic gestures (e.g., bringing flowers to a first date) are a faux pas.

What are relationships like in the UK?

Dating in the UK tends to be low-key. Many people prefer to build up a friendship and keep things casual rather than diving headfirst into commitment. It may take several dates (and a fair bit of dodging direct questions) before you know where you stand.

Once you gain their trust (and a clear agreement on your relationship status), they are very loving and loyal.

Couples usually move in together after three or four years of dating, sometimes longer. Living together is typically a sign that you both see a long-term future together.

When do you meet your partner’s family?

Another tell-tale sign that a relationship has potential is when someone wants to introduce their partner to their family. In the UK, this typically comes after a period of steady dating, ranging from a few months to a few years. After that, family visits or trips out can happen frequently, depending on how close everyone lives to each other.

Getting married in the UK

The role of the family in weddings

Traditionally, wedding proposals in the UK were a family affair in that the groom-to-be asked permission to marry someone’s daughter before popping the question to her. While some still consider it a respectful thing to do, others think it’s sexist and a genuine offense. So the safest thing would be to discuss it with your future spouse.

It’s common for the soon-to-be bride to receive a diamond engagement ring from her partner.

The challenges facing unmarried couples

The UK doesn’t see marriage as an absolute necessity for a committed relationship. Many couples live together for years without feeling pressured to ‘make things official.’

That said, the older generation still sees marriage as the ‘proper thing’ to do. Relatives may ask couples when they’re getting married, especially if they’ve been together long. This shouldn’t be taken as family pressure, more as people being nosy.

Unlike in some other countries, unmarried couples in the UK don’t automatically gain legal rights, no matter how long they’ve been together. There’s no such thing as common-law marriage, and without formal agreements, life partners aren’t entitled to each other’s property, inheritance, pensions, or even decision-making in medical emergencies.

Scotland offers slightly more protection for couples who opt not to marry, allowing them to make limited claims if the relationship ends or a partner passes away. But in England, Wales, and Northern Ireland, you’ll need to take proactive steps (like drafting a cohabitation agreement or writing a will) to ensure any rights are recognized.

Things to keep in mind when dating in the UK

Is the UK LGBTQ+ friendly?

In truth, the UK isn’t exactly a beacon when it comes to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people (LGBTQ+) rights. While same-sex marriage is legal, there is not enough legislation in place to keep the queer space safe. Indeed, LGBT-phobic behavior and hate crimes are on the rise, with some feeling that society has reverted back to the 1990s.

ILGA Europe scores the country 51.9%, a far cry from the incredible 86% it got in 2015. The 2025 LGBT Equality Index is a little more positive, ranking the UK 30^th out of 197 in the world.

Nevertheless, the country has a sizeable LGBTQ+ community and some great gay-friendly places with open and vibrant scenes. For example, Brighton is hailed as the UK’s unofficial gay capital and is home to many bars, cafes, clubs, and theaters. The city also hosts numerous events throughout the year, including the annual Brighton Bear Weekend and Brighton Pride.

Other popular LGBTQ+ destinations include cities like London, Belfast, Birmingham, Cardiff, and Manchester. And, if you’re into trancing out and about, you may want to check out the Gay Outdoor Club.

What are the views on mixed dating?

Thanks to its history of global trade and exploration (i.e., colonialism), the UK is more than familiar with mixed relationships. Mixed couples are especially common in larger cities, where diversity is part of everyday life. Many people are open-minded, and younger generations tend to be more accepting of relationships that cross cultural or religious lines.

Still, racism is a big problem in the UK. While overt hostility isn’t the norm, subtle prejudice or biased assumptions can show up in everyday interactions. Interfaith couples may also face added pressure when it comes to things like marriage traditions, raising children, or navigating holidays.

So, while mixed relationships may not face open backlash, you’re not always met with full acceptance either. Much depends on where you live, the circles you move in, and how visible your differences are.

What challenges come with online dating?

Like elsewhere, online dating in the UK comes with its risks. People might not always be who or what they say they are on their profile or during initial chats. Indeed, the country has had its fair share of romance scams, where criminals pretend to be in love in order to steal money from their victims. For example, in France and Spain, women were robbed of their savings after believing they were in a relationship with the American actor Brad Pitt.

Never agree to send money to someone you have only met online (never agree to send money to anyone, period), arrange your first date in a public place, and be sure to tell a friend or family member where you are.

Useful resources

• Action Fraud – website with information on how to spot romance fraud
• Culture Atlas – website with information on UK culture and society, including conversation do’s and don’t’s