Dating in Russia: finding love as an expat

Dating in Russia is where grand gestures are still alive, and casual isn’t always part of the vocabulary. But don’t expect a rom-com montage of picturesque strolls through Red Square and candlelit dinners. Russian dating culture is refreshingly (and sometimes bluntly) honest, with serious intentions often leading the way.

If you’re used to the slow-burn, “let’s see where this goes” vibe, you might find yourself pleasantly surprised – or completely out of your depth. In Russia, relationships often come with a purpose: dating can quickly transition to meeting the parents or planning for the future.

So, is it easy to date in Russia? Here’s what you need to know:

Is it easy to date in Russia?

Due to the ongoing war, any available statistics on Russia’s sociodemographics are a little outdated. But, in 2019, only 10.4% of women and 4.7% of men (both aged 18 to 69) were single. Of the single women, around 41.6% were widowed, 35.4% were divorced, and 19.4% had never been married. Single men, on the other hand, were predominantly bachelors who had never tied the knot.

With percentages like these, it’s fair to say that the country has locked, sealed, and put a triple-rolling ring on the Russian dating game.

This comes despite 2012 reports that women are consciously deciding to stay single. According to the Daily Beast article, Russian women had a litany of complaints against their male counterparts, including that they were crude, unfaithful, violent, wanted housemaids rather than partners, and felt threatened by independent, high-earning women.

Of course, it’s wrong to generalize: Russia is a huge country, and this report only focussed on the men and women in Moscow. And, again, the report is from 2012. But while the world can change a lot in just over a decade, it’s something for expats to keep in mind.

Likewise important to know is that Russian dating is primarily focused on getting married. There is no concept of hooking up, friends with benefits, situationships, or casual dating. For centuries, the goal of relationships has been to start a family – and that’s not any different today.

How do you meet single people online in Russia?

The best Russian dating websites

Unsurprisingly, in the modern era, one of the best ways to enter the Russian dating scene is by going online. Popular local dating sites are Beboo.ru and Mamba.ru, which are both free to use but may require payment in order to access special features.

The best Russian dating apps

Common international dating apps (e.g., Tinder or Bumble) don’t work in Russia. Instead, singles flock to homegrown apps like Mamba and Tabor. VK Dating is also popular – this function within the social media platform makes it easier to meet and start new conversations with people who share your interests.

An alternative option is Chat Roulette by Nekto.me (Голосовой чат рулетка Некто Ми), a dating app that allows you to leave voice messages with other Russian singles. The platform doesn’t have pictures or videos, and communication occurs only by voice, thus creating truly blind dates across the country.

DrugVokrug (ДругВокруг) is another social chat app that offers many possibilities, whether for friendship or something more. Users can upload pictures and profiles, leave messages, or play online casinos with their friends.

Although many Russian singles use these dating apps, they tend to stumble upon the same issues as they would in other countries. For example, the apps are primarily based on looks and often include bots or scammers. So, if you are looking for something more serious, it may be better to sign up for an online matchmaking service or go and meet people in person.

How do you meet singles in person in Russia?

If you’re feeling a little hesitant toward dating sites and apps, then in-person meetups can be a good alternative. You can start by looking for social events on Meetup groups. This platform aims to connect like-minded people with similar hobbies and interests. Even if you don’t find the love of your life, you might make some new friends.

Another great way to meet new people is to join a local sports club or association in Russia. From cooking classes to sports teams, joining a club is a great way for potential partners to meet and bond over shared passions and interests.

Meeting people through friends

Of course, you can also use the more traditional approach of friendship or professional networks to find dates. If you have friends or close work colleagues you trust, see if they know of any suitable singles they could set you up with. Otherwise, keep an eye out for social events and do some searching yourself.

If you’re feeling confident, Russia’s cities have plenty of opportunities to acquaint yourself with strangers, for example, in bars, at clubs, or at a local museum or festival. Some people also meet their partners on vacation; you just have to be a little outgoing.

While this method requires more effort, it can be rewarding to find attractive singles without the worry that their online personality might not match their real-life one.

Local speed dating events

Speed dating (along with video speed dating) is another common way to meet people in Russia. This is where singles meet at a venue and are matched for a series of quick-fire conversations with potential partners to see if compatibility or a spark exists.

You can find events near you on websites such as Fastlife.su, which advertises events in central Moscow, and Ksenia Droben Matchmaking, which organizes dates in Saint Petersburg. Often, social networking sites such as VK and Telegram also have details of upcoming speed dating events.

What is the Russian dating etiquette?

In general, Russian dating etiquette is traditional and centers around finding a serious partner. However, that doesn’t mean they don’t like the “will-they, won’t-they” stage of courtship.

Here’s what to expect in terms of first dates and what might come next if things progress.

A typical dating scenario

Russians typically meet for first dates in a local restaurant or fancy bar. Whatever the location, it will be classy. As time goes on, however, dates will likely become more oriented around your hobbies and interests. For example, you could go picnicking at a park, visit a museum, or explore hiking spots.

Dates in Russia are typically friendly and straightforward, with some good-natured teasing. Keep in mind, however, that Russians tend to be straight-faced (compared to other nationalities) and don’t like to be overly friendly. People value honesty and don’t like wasting their or your time.

Due to their serious demeanor, Russians don’t often show public displays of affection (PDA) besides hand-holding and a quick kiss. If you do anything more, no one will comment, but you will definitely get judging looks, especially from the older generations.

Dating behavior in Russia

First-date etiquette in Russia is pretty classy, focused on good manners and making a good impression. While Russians aren’t famous for their punctuality, they respect the quality in others. It’s rude to keep people waiting, and you’ll want to be a few minutes early.

The dress code is formal, well-dressed, and stylish, especially for women. Russian women like to dress to the nines and rarely step out of the house without makeup or high heels. Casual wear is a no-go (or at least, until many, many, many dates later). Personal hygiene is essential, so don’t rush to a date straight from the gym or after a hard day of manual labor.

When it comes to conversation, taboo subjects include discussing politics, religion, and sex. Swearing won’t go down too well, either, and you’re unlikely to get a second date. Don’t be surprised or offended when the conversation turns heated; Russians tend to be very opinionated and aren’t scared of putting their point across strongly.

Gender roles in Russian dating

Expats who are used to splitting the bill might have a slight culture shock. The Russian dating scene is quite traditional, compared to some other countries around the world.

For example, the man typically makes the first move and pays for the date. Likewise, women expect the man to be chivalrous; if you don’t hold the door open for your date or help her with her coat, you will not get a second date. On the other side of the fence, Russian men expect their date to behave “ladylike.” They are not impressed by outwardly “masculine behavior,” such as burping, cursing profusely, stuffing your face, or smoking.

What are relationships like in Russia?

Although the intention behind dating is often serious, Russian relationships tend to progress at a slower pace in the early stages. It can take quite a few months before things get going. Because of their reserved nature, it’s also not always clear how they feel. A Russian woman may be head-over-heels in love while her dating partner thinks she has one foot out of the door.

In major cities like Moscow and Saint Petersburg, it’s not uncommon for couples to move in together relatively quickly (sometimes within a few months of dating). Among older and more traditional couples, it may take a few years. Some also postpone living together until they are engaged or even married.

When do you meet your partner’s family?

Family is extremely important in Russia, and young people (but women in particular) value their parents’ opinions. Although there isn’t a set time frame, of course, this means you may meet the family sooner than you would expect. After that, family visits or trips out can happen frequently, depending on how close everyone lives to each other.

Because of the prevailing society norms, there can be a bit of pressure on men to provide financially for their female partners. At the same time, women may face pressure to get married and start a family.

Getting married in Russia

The role of the family in weddings

In Russia, wedding proposals are very much a family affair. It’s standard for the groom-to-be to ask the woman’s father (and mother!) for her hand first. Among younger generations, however, attitudes are changing, and it’s now also common for couples to get engaged and announce it to their family afterward. This is potentially followed by a more informal “asking for a blessing” meeting.

The bride and groom-to-be will then host an engagement party where they announce the plans to their extended family and friends. Engagement rings aren’t really part of the Russian culture, though the bride-to-be may expect one if this is part of yours.

When it comes to wedding dates, many couples avoid getting married in May. That’s because there’s a well-known saying in Russia: “Жениться в мае – всю жизнь маяться” (To marry in May is to suffer for the rest of your life). Some couples also consult Orthodox Christian calendars or astrological charts to select a lucky wedding date.

The challenges facing unmarried couples

Unmarried couples in Russia generally do not face legal restrictions, but they may encounter a few hurdles, particularly in more traditional regions. While cohabitation is increasingly common, society still holds strong traditional values around family and marriage.

Although living together without marriage is increasingly accepted in major cities like Moscow and Saint Petersburg, societal pressure to marry remains strong. Many Russians still view marriage as a natural step in a serious relationship, especially when children are involved.

Couples who choose not to marry will find that Russia’s legal framework still favors those who tie the knot. For instance, partners do not automatically gain inheritance rights, hospital visitation privileges, or decision-making authority in medical situations unless specific legal arrangements are in place. This can be particularly challenging in emergencies, where only legally recognized family members may have access to information or decision-making power.

When it comes to finances, unmarried couples are not entitled to the same benefits as married ones. Spousal pension benefits, for instance, are reserved for legally married partners. Property ownership and inheritance can also become complicated without a will or formal agreement, as Russia does not recognize common-law marriage.

Things to keep in mind when it comes to Russian dating

Is Russia LGBTQ+ friendly?

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people (LGBTQ+) do not have the right to exist in Russia. The Supreme Court has ruled the rainbow flag a forbidden symbol, and displaying the flag can lead to a prison sentence. In fact, in January 2024, a court sentenced a woman to five days detention for wearing rainbow-colored earrings.

Society norms are also against the LGBTQ+ community, and the country ranks 136^th out of 197 in the world on the 2025 LGBT Equality Index.

What are the views on mixed dating?

In general, Russia is accepting of mixed dating and relationships, whether they are interracial or interfaith. Of course, cultural attitudes can vary depending on the region, age group, and personal beliefs.

Mixed couples may occasionally experience curiosity, which can manifest as prolonged stares or intrusive questions. While overt racism is not the norm in Russia, it is not unheard of – particularly toward people of African and Asian ethnic backgrounds. Couples may encounter uncomfortable situations, especially in less diverse areas where locals are less accustomed to seeing interracial couples.

Family expectations can also play a role. Traditional Russian families may initially be skeptical about interracial relationships, especially if there are concerns about cultural differences and language barriers. However, many families prioritize their loved one’s happiness and become accepting over time.

Likewise, interfaith relationships are not unusual in Russia. Although the country is predominantly Russian Orthodox Christian, it also has significant Muslim, Buddhist, and Jewish communities. This religious diversity has resulted in a generally tolerant attitude toward interfaith relationships, particularly in urban areas.

That said, couples may have to navigate cultural and religious differences carefully. Some religious families may expect conversion or adherence to certain cultural traditions, especially when it comes to marriage or raising children.

What challenges come with online dating?

As in any country, online dating in Russia comes with its risks. People might not always be who or what they say they are on their profile or during initial chats. While there are many “hot Russian girls,” they’re not likely to be in your area right now.

Never agree to send money to someone before meeting in person, arrange your first date in a public place, and be sure to tell a friend or family member where you’ll be.

Useful resources

• Medium – article with information on Russian speed dating and dating etiquette
• Culture atlas – website with information on Russian etiquette